


what you're giving me is nothing but a heart

by from_nova



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Buddie Discord Advent, Christmas fic, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Break Up, other characters are present but not major
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28066587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/from_nova/pseuds/from_nova
Summary: Buck and Eddie deal with the fallout of Christmas happening a couple weeks after their break-up.Discord Advent Prompt of "Post-Break Up Holiday"
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 23
Kudos: 123
Collections: 25 (More) Days Of Buddie





	what you're giving me is nothing but a heart

“Babe,” Eddie hears whispered followed by a soft kiss on his cheek. He goes to answer when he hears another soft “Eddie, sweetheart.” with a kiss to his nose. He smiles at it but keeps his eyes shut making Buck huff. “Edmundo, I know you're awake,” he whispers before Eddie feels the bed shift and a weight over him. 

Eddie cracks an eye open and sees Buck’s face right above his, with a goofy smile directed at him. When his eye meets Buck’s, his own grin grows but he snaps his eye back shut. “No Edmundo here. He’s sleeping.” He jokes back and he hears a light chuckle come from Buck and he’s not really sure what Buck’s next move is, but he happily grabs the back of his neck and pulls their lips together.

The kiss is more teeth meeting from the wide smiles the pair had going into it, but it felt right. Everything felt right with Buck.

“Dad!” He hears Christopher excitedly yell, making him jolt away. He opens his eyes and then the same golden glow fills his room, but the man in his bed is gone. He holds back the tears filling his eyes as he thinks about how much he’d give to just have him back, even in just that dream again. Eddie just can’t get something good, can he?

He’s shaken from his thoughts of self pity by Christopher making it to his room and crashing into the bed. Eddie laughs as his kid as he helps pull him onto the bed with him. “Dad! It’s Christmas, remember?” Christopher exclaims as he hugs Eddie from where he’s still in his arms. Eddie gladly takes the hug. He doesn’t need Buck. He’s got Chris and that’s all that matters is what he tells himself. He’s been alone before and he should’ve known Buck would leave him too.

Christopher pulls back from Eddie, looking frantically at the door. Eddie hoists him back off the bed and starts guiding him out of the room. He grabs his phone to take pictures and cringes at the wall paper of him, Chris and Buck he hasn’t had the heart to change yet. 

_“Eddie! He was so good. He’s got talent! I never knew Christopher could sing.” Buck hadn’t stopped boasting about it since the moment Christopher opened his mouth. Eddie keeps lovingly smiling at him as he watches the other parents and family members hover around waiting to see their kids. The yearly Christmas concert came early this year, but Eddie’s not really complaining. Buck is by his side with black slacks and a navy blue button-up. Eddie’s focus has been flickering to how his thighs press against the material and how the sleeves of the button-up wrap around his biceps when Chris isn’t on the stage. “He’s definitely a special kid.” Eddie grins as he watches Christopher and a couple of his classmates talking as they wait in the line of family member’s trying to reach their kids._

_When they finally reach Chris, he has the biggest grin on his face. “Dad! Buck! Did you see me singing?” “We did! You were the best.” Buck replies as he leads Chris away from the group and towards the area where they’re doing little family pictures._

_“The best!” Eddie echos as they reach the snowflake backdrop that everyone has been using for pictures. One of the teacher’s that volunteered to help with the event asks for a phone and Eddie extends his with the camera ready. He falls into place with his arm around Buck’s waist and his hand resting on Christopher’s shoulder. Buck’s arm wraps around his shoulder for the first couple pictures but once they tell them to make a silly face, he feels it lift up and he knows Buck’s doing the “bunny ears” motion behind his head._

_They step off so the next people can take pictures. Eddie gets his phone back and a grin breaks out as he shows the other two the pictures. He sets the silly one as his lock screen as they shuffle out of the building. He starts to notice Buck being a little stiff and quiet, but it melts away with Christopher talking to him about his favorite parts of the concert._

It was the last time things were okay with him and Buck now that he thinks about it. Buck was barely answering his texts after that night and the next time they saw each other in person… well the next time he saw Buck, he was single again. He goes to press the power button and not look at it anymore when he gets a good look at the time. 

“CHRISTOPHER!” He yells in mock anger which gets him a giggle from where Chris is already in the living room by the tree. Eddie over exaggerates his steps as he stomps into the living room and sees his kid grinning at him. With a hand on his hip, Eddie stops by the couch and jokingly glares at Christopher. “4:30? It’s 4:30 in the morning. I thought we agreed on 5:30,” Eddie retorts putting an emphasis on the 5. Chris hasn’t stopped giggling since Eddie came in the room though. He’s almost rolling on the floor as Eddie rolls his eyes. He grumbles a “You’re lucky I love you so much,” before pulling their stockings from the mantle and bringing them over.

Christopher is wiped under his eyes as Eddie sits next to him, and oh how he loves this kid. Eddie watches as he pulls out all kinds of candy that he’ll regret putting in there later and some small toys. When Chris looks up at him with the biggest grin, Eddie’s heart melts. He knows that Buck not being around as much has really upset Chris and he’s been hoping Christmas would be distracting enough. It already seems to be the case and Chris was happy to hear he’d see Buck at the Grant-Nash house tonight. 

Confirming that Buck would be there was a whole other thing. 

_Eddie quickly followed Buck into the locker room and slammed the door shut behind himself. Buck jumps and flinches when he sees it’s Eddie who shares the space with him. Eddie watches for a minute as Buck fumbles with his locker before speaking. “Buck, I know we aren’t… you know… anymore.” Eddie sighs out making Buck stare at the floor, looking rather shameful. “But this should never have affected your relationship with Christopher.”_

_He watches as Buck bites his lips but nods. “Yeah, I know…” He whispers with his hand clutching the now open door of his locker._

_“You know, but you aren’t living with him asking why you disappeared the last two weeks. I don’t even know what happened, Buck. How do you expect me to explain it to him?” Eddie bites back. He really wasn’t planning on this conversation going like this, but “I know” is all Buck has to say? Eddie feels like he’s going in circles with this. He lets out a shaky breath and then in a calmer voice, he adds, “I don’t wanna fight. I just came here to ask if you’re going to Bobby and Athena’s on Christmas for dinner.”_

_Buck finally turns to face him at that. “Why?” Eddie wants to smash his head into the glass wall behind him at that. “Because Christopher wants to see you, especially on Christmas. I figured he’d at least get to see you there.”_

_“Eddie, I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” He says returning his gaze down. “A good idea? What part? Making his day? Seeing that grin on his face again? If you don’t want both of us, okay whatever. I’ll deal with it. But you love him, I know you do, so at least do this thing for him. He’s the one that matters at the end of the day, not you or me at this point and you know it.”_

_He watches as Buck’s eyes stay trained down but he nods his head in response. They stand there in a tense silence before Buck wipes where tears had fallen down his nose. He finally looks up and Eddie sees the red rim of his eyes. “Yeah, of course. I’ll be there. I’ll gladly go and see Chris.” With the answer he wanted, but the results he didn’t, Eddie turns on his heel and leaves Buck alone in the locker room, stabbing both of their hearts in the process._

Buck had been avoiding him for weeks and he had to corner him, pretend he wasn’t upset himself and beg Buck to just be there for his kid this one day. He sat through Buck bowing his head and promising that _“Of course. I’ll be there, Eddie.”_

Eddie pushes the thoughts aside as he notices Chris waiting for him to dump his own stocking. He does so and Christopher seems to be content with it as Eddie pulls presents from under the tree towards him. He starts ripping off the paper and Eddie fumbles with his phone trying to get pictures and videos. The smile on Christopher’s face when he pulls open the present is wide as Eddie moves in to see what one he opened. He feels a lump in his throat as he remembers the showing trip he had with Buck to get half of these presents. Buck was beaming at the idea of Chris loving half of these and now he’s stuck with the knowledge that Buck should be here, but chose not to be. 

\---

Buck stares emptily at the little gift box at the bottom of his locker. He forgot he even put it in here. He aimlessly picks it up and shuffles it around in his hands as he stares at it. He should still give it to Eddie… right? It _is_ for him, but the gift feels like too much to give to his ex. Although, it hurts to think about Eddie as just his ex. He was his best friend before this and he went and fucked that all up. He sits at the bench with it and flips the lid open. “What’s in the box?” He hears startling him. The present flies out of his hand for a moment but he quickly reaches out to catch it. He really needs to stop zoning out in the locker room.

“Nothing,” He responds quickly as he closes the hinged lid. Bobby sends him with a questioning glance before sitting next to him on the bench. There’s a long moment of silence before Bobby finally speaks. “I was surprised when you texted me asking if you could work today.”

“It sounded better than sitting home alone.” Buck sighs. This wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have. Bobby seems to think over what he says next for a moment. “And Eddie?”

“What about Eddie?” Buck asks, as his throat tightens. It really does feel like everyone knows they’re business at times. An unamused look gets thrown his way and Buck flounders before answering the question. “Eddie has Chris to think about.” “Is that why you two have been mopey all month?” Bobby asks, making Buck hang his head. He was hoping this didn’t get in the way of work too bad. He knows he’s been spiralling, but has Eddie been struggling too? He better not be. Buck did this so that he doesn’t have to. “They deserve better than me, Bobby.” Buck chokes out before he can bag those thoughts up again and save it for later. “I mean you’ve seen how I am. Am I really family material? How am I supposed to act like Christopher’s dad when not even three years ago you were firing me?” “Act like Christopher’s dad? Buck, I know you and Eddie weren’t open about how the two of you were dating, but we all saw it. It took a minute to realize that it had shifted though, because the three of you have been a family for so long. You’ve grown up a lot since your probationary period and your relationship with Eddie and Christopher is a big part of why. You stepped up for them. You were Christopher’s other dad long before now, Buck.” Bobby puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder and his final words echo through Buck’s head. Buck flips the lid on the box one last time before the alarm rings and he hurriedly puts it in his locker.

\---

Eddie stood at the door of the Grant-Nash residence and just stared. Christopher kept giving him a weird look before huffing and ringing the doorbell himself. Bobby opens the door almost immediately and laughs as Chris tumbles in past him with a quick hi. Eddie goes to scold him, but the look Bobby’s giving him tells him maybe he’s about to be scolded himself. He goes to walk through the door when Bobby steps towards him and shuts it behind him. Now Eddie really knows he’s in for it. He feels the night air hit him as Bobby just stares for another minute.

“Are you gonna be okay with this?” Bobby asks in a soft voice that takes Eddie back. He stares at Bobby for a minute before nodding. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I should probably get in there with Chris.” Eddie says trying to step around Bobby. “I talked to Buck today,” Bobby leads off as he steps in Eddie’s way again. “Maybe you should too.” 

Eddie scoffs at that and crosses his arms over his chest. “Last time I did, it didn’t go so well.” “He loves you, Eddie.” Bobby tries but he feels wrong as Eddie hears it desperately fall into the air around them. “He left me. I’m not sure what you want me to do here, Bobby.” He responds honestly but with a stubborn tone. Bobby sighs at that and just leads him into the house. He passes the big bag of presents he has for the team and their families to Athena when she reaches out for her. She gives him a quick hug and tells him there’s appetizers out if he wants any. 

He looks around and sees Christopher right up against Buck’s side. Buck has this everlasting grin on his face as Chris tells him all that’s happened in the past couple weeks. He watches for a while when Hen pops up at his side and pulls him into a side hug before yelling “The Diazes are here? Present time!”

Everyone laughs at her remark and everyone claims a seat in the living room. Eddie tries to keep his attention off Buck, but he can’t help but wonder what him and Bobby talked about earlier. He gets snapped out of his thoughts when Bobby hands him a box with a knowing look. He swallows deeply as he sees the messy handwriting on the tag of the gift. This is from Buck?

He glances up at Buck who quickly looks away when Eddie’s confused gaze lands on him. He slowly looks back down and pulls open the lid. He looks down and sees a light gold watch sitting in the box. When he pulls it out and looks at it, he hears a low whistle behind him but his focus remains on the watch. His fingers holding the inside scrap something and he realizes there’s an engraving on the back.

 _Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend_ is engraved on the back. When he looks at the box again, he realizes there’s a note on the inside of the lid too. “And I wanna spend all of mine with you.”

He swallows as he reads it again. Eddie slowly looks up and sees Buck staring back this time. 

“Is this some sort of joke?” he asks, making Buck’s eyes widen. Buck stumbles over his words as he looks absolutely destroyed by the question. Eddie’s just glaring back at him though. He feels like maybe he should feel a bit more sympathetic, but Buck breaks up with him and then gives him this for Christmas? What else is he supposed to think? “I mean it was from before we… you know…” Buck mumbles back and something in Eddie snaps. “Before you broke up with me? Or are we gonna pretend things are peachy.” “Maybe we should take this somewhere else, yeah?” He hears Hen’s voice fill the air and Eddie wants to crawl into a hole when he sees the confused look on Christopher’s face. He nods before walking out the patio. He hears Buck close the door behind him and collapses into one of the chairs. Eddie leans forward so his head is in his hands as he rethinks what just happened.

“I can’t believe I said that in front of Chris.” He sighs as Buck pulls up a chair next to him.

“He’s gonna be okay. I don’t think he’ll really think about it again after a couple moments and either way you can talk to him about it. I can talk to him if you need me to.” He can see Buck fumbling with his hands and knows something else is coming. “I’m sorry, Eddie.”

Eddie sits up at that. He glances at Buck with a raised eyebrow. “For what?”

“For breaking up with you…” He whispers. “And for the watch.”

“It’s a nice watch, though. I liked the watch. I didn’t like the delivery.” Eddie laughs and he sees the tension slip from Buck’s shoulders a bit.

“Not my best decision,” Buck gives a breathy laugh back. “Neither was breaking up with you though.” Eddie’s starting to see that he can’t avoid this heartache all over again. He doesn’t have much of a response though so he hums and nods. “I just got scared.” Buck adds making Eddie look at him again with scrunched eyebrows. “What?”

“Eddie, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and I was just thinking that you and Chris deserve so much better than me and then Bobby was talking to me today and I haven’t stopped thinking about how long I’ve wanted what we had. I haven’t stopped thinking about how I’ve had it a lot longer than I thought I did.” Buck says, huffing out a laugh as he wipes tears from his cheeks. Eddie watches as Buck gives up on wiping them as they keep flowing. He hates when Buck gets upset like this. There’s never a moment where he wants to see Buck like this and it’s not like he was ever genuinely upset with Buck… just upset with what he did. 

“We all make mistakes, but maybe you should consider that Chris and I love you still despite those mistakes. You do the same for me. Also, don’t you think I should be able to decide what I deserve? You never would’ve been this important to us if I didn’t think you were worth it.” Eddie answers with a determination that shocks them both.

“So what’s next?” Buck asks with a shy smile after nodding along to Eddie’s words. Eddie’s not sure Buck believes his words, but wanting to know the next step feels promising. “We’ve got a lot more to talk about, but right now I need you to come comfort me. I still feel like an idiot for telling our kid that we split up before we even told him we were together.” Eddie says hanging his head again. Buck laughs at him but happily pulls him out of his chair and into his arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading and thanks to the people putting on this event!
> 
> You can also find me on tumblr @from-nova


End file.
